The Art & Science of Building Good Habits
It’s true: We can’t reach most goals or change our habits overnight. We will have days where we can't follow up on our plans, and we might even need to adjust our expectations on the way.
Adopting new habits means becoming comfortable with a long journey — it requires a "growth mindset", in the words of Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: Changing The Way You think To Fulfil Your Potential. Dweck explains: “In the fixed mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail — or if you're not the best — it's all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what they're doing regardless of the outcome. They're tackling problems, charting new courses, working on important issues. Maybe they haven't found the cure for cancer, but the search was deeply meaningful.”
Oftentimes, we are focused on the outcome, when really, the journey is what will get us there. It is the daily actions that accumulate to form habitual behaviour and it is our flexibility to adjust our process that will determine whether a habit will take hold in our lives in the long run.
The Truth about Size
Most of the habits we want to commit to aren’t achievable in a day, in some cases not even a few months. Starting small can facilitate many victories, so try breaking down large goals into smaller steps you can complete every day. Just like launching a new life-changing medical cure doesn't happen overnight, or training for a marathon requires weeks of practice, adopting a new habit consists of many small steps and repeating them every day. Break down your habit into its smallest components and see how you can incorporate these in your everyday life.
Environment Design
"You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems," said James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. In a world that entices us with processed sugars in the supermarket, products that arrive at the press of a button, and a stream of notifications and apps on our devices, it is practically impossible to keep saying “no” when temptation comes knocking.
"Creating systems" means creating an environment around you that is favourable to you keeping to your new habit. This could look like putting your gym clothes out the night before, or turning your phone on Do-not-Disturb when you want to work without distractions. Set up your environment in a way that supports the person you want to be.
Your environment can also support you with little cues. Every day, we are bombarded with stimuli that trigger certain behaviours. By changing these cues to encourage behaviours that we want to engage in, we can actively shape what we do. This could take the form of a diary that you leave on your desk for journaling or a little note above your sink to remind you to stay mindful.
The Minimum is the Way
When it comes to habits, one of two things usually happens. Scenario A: We set too many new habits, and it becomes too much to accomplish at once. Scenario B. is: we get busy and simply forget. One of the main reasons we do not stick to new habits is that we tend to run on autopilot for a great part of our day: this can make it hard to add a new thing to the mix.
Studies suggest that our brain can only keep between seven and nine things in our working memory - the part of our brain that is responsible for immediate and conscious processing. By focusing on one or two habits, we can make it much easier to plan for them and succeed at making them part of our everyday life. Think about what's important for you now, and stick to these habits for at least one to two months.
It’s not that you’re not motivated
Most of us would think that motivation is one of the principal ingredients of successfully building new habits. But if we are to believe books like Stephen Guise's Mini Habits, then solely relying on the kind of motivation we feel during the initial stages of adopting a new habit might actually be one of the major reasons why our habits never turn into a lasting lifestyle.
"A destructive habit to have is believing that you have to be motivated to act," Stephen Guise writes in his book. Because at the end of the day, motivation is a fragile thing — it is dependent on so many things — so we can’t expect to feel motivated every day in our journey to new habits.
Instead, we need to remind ourselves that better habits are a commitment. If we succeed, we have managed to shape our lives, we have made a change despite the difficulty of overturning our natural inclination to stay consistent with the past.
Maximising rewards and minimising expectations
Creating rewards gives us the little "yes, I did it" moments that, accumulated over time, transform the mental environment we practise habits in. Loretta Breuning, author of Habits of a Happy Brain says, “Do not undermine your good feeling by apologizing to yourself for the triviality of the accomplishment. Just enjoy the split second of triumph and move on. It's just a spark, but if you ignite it every day, you will be your own best spark plug.”
It’s time clear your home and life of things that don't support the person you want to be and the habits you want to cultivate. Become your own "best spark plug", and just remember that developing new habits is not just about a destination, it’s about the journey.
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