Rediscovering Joy and Authenticity in Business & Life with Digital Mindfulness

Our guest in this week’s podcast is Rini Pegka, marketing expert, mindfulness coach and author of “Digitale Achtsamkeit für Selbstständige” (Mindfulness for Entrepreneurs & Freelancers). We invited Rini to speak about living, working and growing a business mindfully in the age of social media. You can listen to our conversation in German on “The Quiet Living Room” podcast.

Iliana: You were one of the pioneers in Germany to address the topic of digital mindfulness. How did you become involved in this?

Rini: If you look at my CV, my background, you might wonder, how did this happen? Because I've been in marketing for a very long time, for 20 years now, and at some point, naturally, I was also involved in social media marketing. I've been managing brands and companies in the social media sector for many years now, focusing on only a very few select brands. When social media first emerged, many years ago, I was just as thrilled as everyone else. The communication that suddenly became possible: On an equal footing, transparent. And there was a response when you put a message out into the world. All of this was very exciting, but after the first few years, I started noticing that it was becoming too much. It wasn't normal or human to be reachable 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To be exposed to all these stimuli. To be able to reach millions of people with just a click - that's not natural or normal. We're simply not equipped to handle it. And I noticed it in myself. I realized that my feelings of being overwhelmed and irritated might be related to this shift. And so, I began to read and learn more about it.

I found meditation as a way to help myself. This led me to the point where I actually became a meditation teacher myself, and now I'm also a yoga teacher. After two or three years of incorporating mindfulness into my life, I thought that if this approach works so well for me - being mindful, living consciously, and using digital media consciously - it might also benefit others. And perhaps I should talk more about it. This combination of being active in the social media universe, but also being very mindful, led me to the concept of digital mindfulness. I felt a need to discuss it, because I saw that I wasn't the only one who had this need or felt this overwhelm. There were so many people around me who felt the same way, which is why I started addressing this issue.

Iliana: The term "digital mindfulness" is still relatively new. How would you describe digital mindfulness to someone hearing it for the first time?

Rini: Well, digital mindfulness doesn't mean meditating and then posting an Instagram story about it. That's not it. It actually involves using digital media with awareness. Why am I using these media? How do I feel when I use these media? If we are self-employed or run a business, for what purpose am I using these media? What goal do I have when I use these media for my marketing, for example? And of course, how much time do I spend on them? Is it perhaps a bit too much? Am I using these media to distract myself? And if so, from what? What's beneath that? It's precisely this mindful consumption, this conscious consumption. What am I seeing right now? Is it good for me? And if it's not good for me, what can I do about it? And also noticing, what emotions are coming up in me? When I'm on social media, am I comparing myself? Am I addicted in the sense of, is it the first thing I do when I open my eyes in the morning? And to have this awareness, how am I dealing with these media?

And how can I deal better with them, so that I use them as such, and they don't use me, that I use them as media, I use the smartphone as a wonderful tool, which it naturally is and which simplifies many things in life, and not as a distraction, or as a tool with which we simply spend far too much time without getting anything in return.

And to also ask yourself, when I'm active on digital media, especially on social media. What am I sharing with the world and what does this content do? Not only with me, but also with others, when they consume it. So to have this respect and this ethic also when we are on these media.

Iliana: You've been in this space for a while now. How do you think the response to digital mindfulness has changed over the past few years, especially now due to the pandemic?

Rini: I first started talking about it four years ago. And back then, I was like a unicorn, as were others in this field. We were very few. I think over time the topic has become increasingly present because people feel that it's simply too much. It's just too much time, too many stimuli, too much information. And there are more and more studies about it in the meantime. Many focus only on teenagers, but there are also studies that go beyond, on various levels, measuring the effects on mental and physical health. And I think the topic is becoming more and more present in society. Just look at how many books there are on it. One more has just been added, or courses, or YouTube videos if you just quickly type social media into YouTube. You can't imagine how many videos will pop up. People are feeling first hand that it's not good for them. To me, it doesn't matter how many studies there are or aren't, what the studies say or don't say. The strongest indicator for me is that people sense that they have a problem with this.

Iliana: You mentioned that you spent a long time working as a marketing and social media manager. It's an interesting combination and gives you an opportunity to advise from your daily interactions and personal experience with social media. How has the topic of digital mindfulness affected your work and how do you see the job of a social media manager differently than someone who perhaps hasn't engaged with this topic?

Rini: When we practice our profession, whether self-employed or as employees, we're still the same personalities we are. We still have the same values we hold, and the values I maintain in my private life naturally carry over into my work. It's just the way it is. You can't draw a line there. That's also the case with digital mindfulness, particularly now in my job, or at least the part of my job that deals with social media. Where I apply this filter of digital mindfulness when creating social media content for my clients. I must say, I'm lucky to have only two clients, and they are, as mentioned, very selective clients I continue to collaborate with. These are longstanding collaborations that have lasted for over ten years. And I'm lucky because the content I'm allowed to publish or the strategies we can discuss do not conflict with my values. They are also companies that have values with which I identify.

And these are carried into their marketing. There are no manipulative methods or strategies. We're very careful about how we present ourselves, what we put out into the world, what values we use. Even the social media advertising that is done is only up to a certain point. It's not everything, we don't track everything people do on the website. It really is within a framework where I feel comfortable. And no matter who would approach me to consult them for social media, I can only do it through the prism of digital mindfulness. A huge part of that, for example, is that I only deal with Facebook and Instagram. I don't deal with Facebook at all. That's a platform I want to avoid. And thankfully, my clients don't hold this platform in high regard, so I don't have that dilemma. But if someone were to ask me, I wouldn't do any TikTok consulting, because it goes against my values.

And those who read the book will see why I am against this platform. Personally, I'm no longer active on social media. I've kept my Instagram profile as an online business card if someone stumbles upon my profile, through the book or other activities, but I'm no longer active on social media for my own marketing, because I've decided it's better for me to focus on more sustainable methods. But if you want to talk about digital mindfulness, social media is an essential part. Therefore, through advising the brands I still have in my portfolio, I naturally have direct access to it.

Iliana: You talk about a prism of digital mindfulness. It sounds like we can apply some kind of value compass or filter to our interaction with social media and online in general. What would this filter look like in everyday life?

Rini: In order to make this step easier for people, I've outlined in my book the five fundamental pillars of mindful social media marketing. These are concepts I've been conveying for two years in coaching, mentoring, and through a membership program I've facilitated. Within each of these pillars, there are prompts for self-reflection and journaling, enabling individuals to carve out their own path. Included within these pillars are aspects such as personal character, respect, ethics, and integrity - all crucial factors.

For me, the key is having this filter: what purpose am I pursuing with social media? Am I achieving my goals? And how do I feel when I use social media? I understand that it's a lot to grapple with, but often, it's about how we feel. If I don't feel comfortable and catapult myself miles outside my comfort zone because I may not be comfortable with the way I'm supposedly expected to express myself on social media, or if I feel I'm being too aggressive or manipulative, then perhaps these platforms are not the right place for me to be present.

Take, for example, a freelancer who wants to make their mark on these platforms. Another scenario: If I'm a social media manager working for various brands, I'm always the same individual, regardless of my role. If I observe that the message we're pushing, or the overly loud music, or the excessively bright colors, or the claims we're making are not 100% accurate, or if we're posting five times a day on Instagram, or if we're running ads that minutely track people's actions (or inactions) on our website to serve them targeted ads, all these actions raise questions.

Everyone has to ask themselves if they're comfortable with these practices and whether they align with their personal values.

Some people are okay with it, while others are not. These are just a few of the questions one can ask when wanting to apply digital mindfulness as a filter.

Iliana: As you know, I'm also a strong advocate for digital mindfulness. But I have to admit, when you look at YouTube or Instagram and see hundreds, thousands of videos about how to get more followers, become an influencer, or garner more likes, it's easy to feel like you're missing out if you're not very active on social media. What would you say to someone who fears missing out or even being left behind?

Rini: I know that fear exists. I know that many are driven by this fear and this pressure, and that's why they post. As part of my book, I conducted a survey and used many of the responses in the book, along with some analysis. Although it's not a representative statistic, these are voices of real people, the self-employed. I also included interviews with entrepreneurs who successfully market their businesses without social media. So, I understand that this fear and pressure exist.

Digital mindfulness is the filter that allows one to confront this fear and pressure, asking, "Am I posting just to avoid feeling uncomfortable or am I posting because, if I don't, I won't attract any customers?" Is it truly the case that if I don't post three times a day, I will lose customers? What do the numbers say?

From there, one can consider where their customers are coming from. Are they referred? Do they find me through my website or social media? And if they come through social media, how many come over the weekend? Regarding ROI, if you want to get down to brass tacks, is the effort worth it? Many people can't connect with this concept of introspection. But when we look at our business insights, when we examine the numbers, then we can determine whether it's worth it or not. And then, of course, we can take the next step and ask, how can I manage this? I believe that everyone should, or rather, must handle social media and digital media mindfully. Whether we use it for business or not. Because behind these companies, behind these technologies, there are teams. Developers who want us to devote all our attention to them. And as business people, as entrepreneurs, we have better things to do than to spend all day worrying about whether or not my post will please the algorithm. Because that way, we're not self-determined, and we don't post things that truly reflect us, but rather things that will please an algorithm, an AI. And we need to find a happy medium because

I didn't become self-employed to please an AI. I became self-employed to work and live the way I envisioned. And of course, compromises are made, but for me, it goes too far to adjust my creativity and my output to an AI.

Iliana: I find it very interesting, considering that both of us grew up without a mobile phone. Nowadays, most teenagers have a smartphone. Does digital mindfulness look different for someone who never knew any different? And what would you like to say to the next generation about digital mindfulness?

Rini: The younger people are, the more important digital mindfulness becomes. It's for everyone, so the tips or suggestions in the book, of course, are geared towards self-employed people, but the topic of digital mindfulness and the tips therein can be applied by anyone, no matter what age. But the younger people are, the more important it is to have digital mindfulness as part of self-care or as a health routine in life. I would go so far as to say, I'm one of the few people who probably believe that social media should only be permitted from the age of 16. Thirteen is too young, and we know very well that many young people find a way to create an account on Instagram, Facebook, etc., even before the age of 13. The development of children's brains is very, very important.

Until about the age of twelve or thirteen, if not later, the brain is developing. There are many studies by the CDC, the Center of Control in the USA, that include a large number of young people. And these studies have been ongoing since 2009, even before 2010. They started very, very early, and if you google it, you can see that from 2010, when smartphones became prevalent for most people, the curve starts to rise. And the curve is rising. We see that depression in young girls has increased by 145% since 2010, and in boys, by 161%. And the suicide rate, which is very, very sad. For young girls, it has increased by 134% since 2010, and for boys, by 109%. As I said, there are many studies on this subject, and you can always refer to studies to support an opinion. Those on the other side who say, "No, surfing has no side effects. All this you're saying is nonsense," they also have their own studies. But even these studies ultimately show a not-negative impact of social media on mental health, especially in children. And I don't have children. If I had children, I would buy them a cell phone and a laptop. Of course, it's needed for school, etc. They can also have a tablet, but no social media accounts and only under supervision. And a cell phone, which has no internet access, just to be able to reach the child in certain situations. And no matter what the studies say, that's what I wanted to get at earlier.

If you ask young girls and young boys how they feel about social media. There won't be any who say I feel great with it, it's super. Facebook itself has also conducted studies and Facebook itself has also studied Instagram, how it's not good for young people, especially young girls. These are the documents that have been leaked. To the Wall Street Journal with Francis Augen and yes, so everything speaks against young people having so much access to social media, and yet they all have it. And therefore. I don't want to stop, I won't stop representing this opinion. The problems young people have when they use too much media are greater than the problems parents face when they forbid it. And I know, there's peer pressure and I know, there's always comparison with others, but I have teenagers in my environment who have social media channels, but tell me: “I don't use them. And I won't load them on my phone in any case, because I don't need that. My brain doesn't need that.” Yes, it is important that we use it especially for the children, but not only the children, but also adults.

Iliana: Exactly. And that's why you wrote your book. As you said, the topic of teenagers and social media could fill an entire book. But let's talk about your book which has just been released. You chose self-employed people as your target group. I found that very interesting. Of course, because I am also an entrepreneur myself. What's special about self-employed people when it comes to digital mindfulness?

Rini: I have been self-employed since 2008 and every self-employed person who is listening right now knows exactly that a lot rests on our shoulders. So we do a lot alone from accounting, from the website, from marketing. Our self-care, how much we work, how long we work, customer acquisition, everything rests on our shoulders. It's a lot that we have to do. And of course we became self-employed because we want to work the way we want to work, because we also want to realize ourselves. That's also a big part of it. That's why you become self-employed. In the book, I focus on self-employed individuals, as I am one myself and I understand how it all looks. Over the last few years, I have seen how much effort and energy is poured into marketing. It feels like we're spending all our time just marketing our business, particularly on social media.

When you weigh it all out, the time, the energy, and the effort, somehow, it seems too much for what we get in return. The benefit isn't always there. There are exceptions, of course. But it's a tremendous amount of our lives, our energy, and our budget we're investing in our marketing, especially social media, and for most people, it's not equivalent to what we get back. Much less comes out of it. Not only that, but we reach a point where this excessive investment in social media, in marketing, in performance - this hardcore, this loud marketing, full immersion into this hate mode - it starts to harm our health. I believe that's unacceptable. We didn't become self-employed to end up burned out. Freedom is a very important value for most self-employed people. Being self-determined is another. And for many, the demands of modern media take a toll on their health.

Whether it's mental health or physical health, because the mind, the body, and the spirit, they're all one. We view it all holistically. I even learned this in biology studies - how, from a biological perspective, the mind can influence the entire body. The vagus nerve, for instance, is just one example. It runs through the whole body and can influence everything. That's why I wanted to show that there are other ways, that you can be more mindful in your journey, so we have more time for the things that matter to us. For family, hobbies, travels, whatever it might be that's important to someone, we might want to do our marketing outside of social media. Yes, I said it. It is possible to have successful marketing outside of social media. I interviewed five self-employed individuals who demonstrate how they manage their successful marketing.

I also do my marketing outside of social media: I'm recommended, I have a blog, I'm found. I get inquiries. It just works to shift the perspective. It was important for me to show, "Hey, you're not feeling good about this and I'm the one who gives you a voice. It's not just you, most people feel this way. There are other ways, other perspectives, and there's joy." Let’s bring joy into our business. We use the words 'joy' and 'fun'. These are often neglected in business. It's important to ask ourselves, "What brings me joy in my business?" Or, "Why doesn't my marketing bring me joy?" Asking ourselves what's going on. How could it bring me more joy? Our business is our baby. It should bring us joy. Clearly, not every single moment. Just like a baby, there are moments that are truly challenging. But joy should prevail or come more into focus.

Iliana: I was just about to ask what readers can take away from your book, and you answered that question so beautifully.

Rini: Yes, they will gain a lot of understanding for themselves and will indeed be able to meet themselves with much self-love. As I said, they can adopt a different perspective. A guiding question in the book is, "Why not?" Okay. Why don't I give it a try? And look, what do the numbers say? What does my gut say? They will take away the five fundamental pillars of mindful media marketing. Lots of self-reflection. Questions that you can ask yourself. And much from my own experience, what I've been through and how I've evolved. The journey of digital mindfulness has its stops along the way. And that journey continues. There's no ultimate destination where I would say, "Here you've arrived, you can't go further." There's also a lot of input from the other self-employed individuals I've interviewed and a system that they may find useful on how we can better manage our energy without a to-do list. That's the last chapter in the book where I share how I plan my days, how I plan my week, always with this mindfulness filter and, indeed, without a to-do list.

I don't have to-do lists. I have systems that I've established that I work with, and perhaps they might help others as well.

Iliana: It certainly sounds like a journey that involves spending a lot of time with oneself. By the way, I love that you use the word 'joy', especially with self-employed individuals where there are many ups and downs. It's important to remind ourselves regularly why we chose this path and to bring joy into our everyday life.

Rini: Yes, it's important to me, in my work and in my book, that people meet themselves with more self-love and understanding and return to their core. What is important to me? What makes me feel good and how can I carry my message and for many, their vocation into the world? Without forgetting myself and always remaining self-determined, not externally driven by algorithms, platforms, or anyone else. Essentially, returning to the core, returning to the essence. I believe that's very important in our time.

You can download Rini’s book “Digitale Achtsamkeit für Selbstständige” in German here.

Find out more about Rini’s work on her website.